FANDOM


 
Line 1: Line 1:
Read through them once more, opinions on Flavor, feel free to disagree or argue with me on these:
+
I read through them once more, here are my opinions on Flavor, feel free to disagree or argue with me on these:
   
 
[[Crown of Authority]], the art shows her being crowned, the text refers to her preparing to invade.
 
[[Crown of Authority]], the art shows her being crowned, the text refers to her preparing to invade.

Latest revision as of 00:19, July 5, 2018

I read through them once more, here are my opinions on Flavor, feel free to disagree or argue with me on these:

Crown of Authority, the art shows her being crowned, the text refers to her preparing to invade.

Eilyn, Clan Mother, the art shows her in Argenport, flavor text refers to her being in the Skycrag.

Helpful Doorbot, I added this initially not knowing of Game of Thrones. Don't know if it's worth keeping.

Crownwatch Squire, We could probably reword it a little to fix. But the first half focuses on Relia and her sergeants, and the end of it refers to where what's depicted in the art wouldn't be happening. Maybe: "At the training grounds the rookies were taught how to think and fight on their feet."

Daraka, Queensguard, sprinkling, but the flavor fits here. Sentences from novels don't tend to be engaging. Maybe shorten to "Aye my Queen, it will be done."

Encroaching Darkness, Where is she entering? Either get rid of the last sentence or change it to something like: Vara disappeared once more into the shadowlands in pursuit of her tormentor.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.